So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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