well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
