i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
