two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
