eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
