On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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