Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
