Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
