I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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