also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
