what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
