he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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