I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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