Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
