he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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