Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
