we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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