she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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