I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
