So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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