I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
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I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
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We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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