I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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