So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
