we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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