I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
