how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
