Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
