i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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