Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
