Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
