come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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