I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize