i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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