i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
