Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
