Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
