I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
