tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
