He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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