No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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