Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
