Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
