Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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