so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
