My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Randomize
