Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
