He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
