At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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