its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I bet he comes in French.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
