his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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