I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
