why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
