playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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