you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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