Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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