Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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