so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
