I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
