Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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