just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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