You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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