I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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