Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
