i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
