When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
