I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
