addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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